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“Go into an adult sex shop, all my toys were bought online.”I sat there I could not believe this girl, the conversation had become so taboo so quickly I mean what happened to talking fashion and celebrity gossip. Before I knew what was happening Rachel was dragging me into the adult sex shop we passed earlier. I hope none of my friends see this being dragged into a sex shop by a younger girl rumours in small towns can be big problems. Inside I was very surprised it wasn’t dark and dingy or smelly or filled with creepy old guys. It was a well laid out shop with books, DVD cases and a walls were neatly covered with gadgets and gizmos evenly spaced each with there own particular spot. Rachel led me around the shop and asked me what toys I normally used. I looked at her with a look of serious doubt then replied “well to be honest last nigh was the first time I ever did something like that and it was the first time I ever orgasmed.”She looked like she was about to start laughing but then a. That we had embarked on a permanent life together wasn't the subject of any doubt, in my mind or in hers. We were together, and blissfully so. But could I simply continue to enjoy this young woman, body and soul, and never confess to her that she was now the life partner of a man whose days might, indeed, be numbered?Would we marry? Would we have children? If we did, how would I provide for them? I had no usable college degrees to help me attain a good job. I had pension income, and a house. There were other modest assets, but I wasn't rich, and I wasn't in possession of some special skill that would enable me easily to go out and earn a living and raise a family.And I wondered -- continuously -- whether I would be leaving Ellie behind, some not-too-distant day from now, with children who had not yet reached adulthood? Children whose principal memory of their father was that he had suddenly dropped dead one day at the tender age of 35, or 40?More and more, the conviction grew that I.
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